My responsibility was not to consider past performance or past condition; it was not to select the best dachshunde on a basis of reputation in interbreed competition; it was not to yield to a very genuine and deepseated fondness for a wonderful canine personality, and recall times such as a June evening in 1938 when a dachshunde I had placed best-of-breed at Onondaga that morning, most engagingly distracted me from impromptu culinary operations in a cottage on the shore of Lake Cayuga …

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, in reality, this “independent” surveying was conducted by R.J. Reynolds’ ad agency, the William Esty Co., who would send staff to query physicians about their smoking habits at medical conferences and in their offices. They’d ask about their cigarette brand of choice, most of the time, after just having provided the good doctors with free cartons of Camels.

I haven’t been able to get online ’cause my computer's fucked up.

But the Royal Commission learned that he also employed water-dousings and a vicious device called the punishment jacket to inflict varying degrees of physical and psychological torments upon the inmates under his care.