Sepia Delft tiles surrounded the fireplace, their crudely drawn Biblical scenes in faded cyclamen blending with the pinkish pine, while above them, instead of a mantelshelf, there was an archway high enough to form a balcony with slender balusters and a tapestry-hung wall behind.

First, marinate the tofu. In a bowl, whisk the kecap manis, chilli sauce, and sesame oil together. Cut the tofu into strips about 1cm thick, mix gently (so it doesn't break) with the marinade and leave in the fridge for half an hour.

Gay or straight, we've all made incorrect assumptions about someone's sexual orientation, so the likelihood of “gaydar” or even “straightdar” as a meaningful idea is unlikely.

Gussa-Merry-Mingo-Pip-Perry-Pingo is the name of the little old man who looks after the aitch-oh-vee-ee-ar-cee-ay-ar-pee-ee-tee-blank-ar-eye-dee-ee-ess.