Cal Nathan, owner of the New York Fun Factory, an event planner in Hicksville, N.Y. (nyfunfactory.com), said that he, too, has witnessed an uptick in the number of couples using out-of-the-box gimmicks like stilt walkers, celebrity look-alikes, photo booths and minicasinos to make their weddings stand out.

The comment about my impending corpsehood had been all the encouragement I'd needded.

Look, I had to pay the shawties that helped me, and after I paid them, yo' cut is thirty-two grand.

Grab some air. Don't flail. Get horizontal. Grab some air again. Relax.