My mail gets addressed to Ron Hamilton and your's is addressed to Mr. Chicken Fucker.

Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972. Wasn't my Mom a betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don't remember her, but I like to pretend she still watches over me.

I pulled out a Gryffindor key chain I had been saving for just such an emergency, and she cheered up while telling me why she was definitely a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin.

Police officer how can it be/You can 'rest everybody but cruel Stack O'Lee