Former name: Victoria Province (until 1982)

DISPATCHES FROM QUEMOY QUOTED LT. GEN. KO YUAN-FEN, THE ISLAND'S MAGISTRATE, AS SAYING THE REDS FIRED 900 SHELLS AT THE SMALL TOWN OF CHINSHA DURING THE RECORD 53,000-SHELL BOMBARDMENT MONDAY.

He starts to thank me PROFUSELY, and I tell him to can that shit. I tell him to slip me the good word via General Delivery, Hubbard, North Dakota. Listen, asshole, I say, send me a postcard from the Weird Land of Mooses.

Here’s a simple color-cued key to healthful eating that I call the pentacolor principle: At mealtime, try and include at least five differently colored foods.