Far from bewailing the existence of mysteries-for-humans, we should be extremely grateful for it.

The 26-year-old [Papiss Cissé] has proved a revelation since his £10m move from Freiburg, with his 11 goals in 10 matches hauling Newcastle above Spurs, who went down to Adel Taarabt's goal in Saturday's late kick-off at Loftus Road.

We traveled down the Min River from Nanping in a small sampan, flying the American flag for protection against bandits and soldiers. Those were the days when the Stars and Stripes still afforded some protection.

The bus journey took forever, with old dears with their shopping trolleys getting on and off at every stop.