I took up the 'Christian Scientist' book and read half of it, then took a dipperful of drench and read the other half. The resulting experiences were full of interest and adventure. All through the rumblings and grindings and quakings and effervescings accompanying the evolution of the ache into the botts and the cold into the blind staggers I could note the generous struggle for mastery going on between the mash and the drench and the literature […]

Scarborough gets picked on a lot – mean jibes about it being a land of strip malls, high-rises and doughnut shops filled with lumber-jacketed heavy-metal burnouts.

My lord's sayings and doings are most amusing. As I mentioned his cacology, I will give you a sample. His second wife took great pains to improve him, but in vain. When he came here under her tutelage, she watched his words, and always corrected him, even before company. One day, being asked to take some lunch, he declined, saying ‘I have been eating selvedges all day.’ My Lady, correcting, said, ‘Sandwiches, my Lord.’ He replied, ‘Ah, my Lady, I wish you'd be quiet, you're always rebuting me.’

It's not funny, Mom! I use that mitt all the time. What kind of wackadoodle poops in her sister's baseball glove, for crying out loud?