I am not Charlie Hebdo!

We would personally be very interested to see Cameron Diaz make her directorial debut with a movie that featured a supercilious rich-kid indie auteur who does pseudo-profound confections that people initially splooge themselves over but which, on second viewing, are the cinematic equivalent of unflavored rice cake, with comedy scenes that are not especially funny, endless “arty” shots of the Tokyo skyline filmed out of hotel windows, and dialogue that is only naturalistic in the sense that it possibly took as long to write as to say, and which are considered original only by people who have never set eyes on any other footage showing characters suffering from exquisitely well-turned neon-lit urban ennui like Wim Wenders directing a crap U2 video in 1993.

Well said, brazen-face.

It will cure by science and philosophy instead of empiricism, and will deal the deadliest blow to charlatanism.