Think about the old customer service maxim, underpromise and overdeliver.

Liz waved. She leaned toward Carter. “Can you please uncatch my hair?” she hissed.

This is how we roll in Spring Valley, one teen reportedly boasted.

[T]hoſe common and quotidian infirmities that ſo neceſſarily attend me, and doe ſeeme to be my very nature, have ſo dejected me, ſo broken the eſtimation that I ſhould have othervviſe of my ſelf, that I repute my ſelfe the moſt abjecteſt piece of mortality: […]