Wide-eyed futurists have long envisioned a world where teledildonics helps us all get it on with partners half a world away; so far, their predictions have amounted to little more than empty hype.

We hope that you do catch this excitement and remain dance-happy for the rest of your life … if not as a dancer then as a dance advocate, dance audience, and dance enthusiast.

We are curious to see how this all shakes out.

A Stomper is one who became overberried and underbusy through no toil of his or her own.