Sébastien Bassong is being driven away by the madness at Newcastle United, a source close to the Frenchman has told the local Evening Chronicle newspaper.

First, marinate the tofu. In a bowl, whisk the kecap manis, chilli sauce, and sesame oil together. Cut the tofu into strips about 1cm thick, mix gently (so it doesn't break) with the marinade and leave in the fridge for half an hour.

Go sit with him. I think he's a little depressed. It's not easy to grow old. / Tell me about it.

After a week's manœuvrability tests at Winwick, the locomotive was to undergo three weeks' trials, light engine and loaded, between Whitchurch and Tattenhall Junction.