There is a clandestine international conspiracy behind these gnome-nappings, similar in scope and complexity to those organized to perform crop circle hoaxes and stage UFO sightings.

Outside, a pink granite kerb stone is said to mark the spot where the pump stood, and a small plaque on the wall records its significance.

The deep, killing cold eased, although she knew somehow that the zero chill was only held at bay.

My mother, rest her soul, is with God now.