Main trouble with “The House We Used to Haunt” and “The Wizzard One” is each other. Kids are cute, but somehow five pages of underpunctuation, pseudo-naïve sentence structure, and well-calculated grammatical errors are less than cute.

Those who are not boltering or spillering in the spring are crabbing.

With his precious charge / Embark'd, Sinicus gently ſteers along; / The dip of oars in uniſon awake / Without alarming ſilence; […]

Strap on your horsehair shirt later. I'm the better transverser, and I'm just nastier.