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my parents are such canadaboos they're thinking of moving to canada and eating poutine every day after my little sister moves out

Get yourself a pin or a winkle picker, hoik them out [of their shells], dunk them in the shallot vinegar.

The two are immediately caught up in a terrorist plot to rid the earth of its underclass, and this gives Nobby the chance to live out a James Bond fantasy of Englishness, with his own lager-swilling twist.