After hours of trying, he eventually gave it up as a bad job.

So it really got to me when my daughter went to kindergarten and came home saying, 'Mommy, what's a spik? Some kid called me a spik.'

Fucksticks! When some smart-arse bastard gives me my comeuppance / Fucksticks! When it's ages since I've seen a lady's tuppence

He resorted to his pint of wine for consolation, drank it all in a few minutes, and fell asleep on his arms, with his hair straggling over the table […]