Have bought The Shanghai Chopsticks. Proprietor at first refused to sell, but when I ordered the boiling oil he became more reasonable. Editor reports that circulation is not what it ought to be. […] Will publish proclaimation, Any person found not in possession of The Shanghai Chopsticks (current number) will be suicided.

Quick! We'd better run for it! Someone is coming.

locken fingers

Warning: Sillyfic straight ahead! You have been warned.