Bart Blandino . . . refers to himself as a Mediterranean Irishman—an expression which never fails to amuse us.

… Mrs. Sykes said, ‘her man was the wust she ever knowed when he got topsy-turveyed.’ And as now, he began to get topsy-turveyed pretty regularly before he had finished his daily business with the retiring host of the Holly Bush, there was not much peace at home.

Off comes the bright red jacket with built-in armguards.

Look on the bright side: at least having a broken leg means you'll have some time off work.