If you do want to go home, here’s your whip. Don’t fall off. Say to her you wanted it, or there might be ructions.

Lescott gave his finest England performance alongside his former Everton team-mate Phil Jagielka, who also excelled despite playing with a fractured toe, while Parker was given a deserved standing ovation when he was substituted late on.

That is a fact; it cannot be changed — it is written indestructibly on the record of events.

a card reader, a microfilm reader