We learn that “Mr. G. Linnæus Banks, the eminent Shakespearologist and Shakespearolator,” is coming to America to “orate.”

[T]he testicles are quite exposed, but they wrap a piece of cloth or leafe round the yard which they tye up to the belly to a cord or bandage which they wear round the waist just under the short ribbs and over the belly and so tight that it was a wonder to us how they could endure it.

She had been even bespattered with praise, so abundantly had it been showered upon her;

I'm not trying to console you because your kid didn't get into HYPS or her first choice, or your beloved alma mater.