[…] We are engaged in a great work, a treatise on our river fortifications, perhaps ? But since when did army officers afford the luxury of amanuenses in this simple republic ?[…]

The scent of these arm-pits is aroma finer than prayer,

The packers were always originating such schemes—they had what they called boneless hams, which were all the odds and ends of pork stuffed into casings.

I remember that moment when the host of the show would say, “Will the real Mr. X please stand up.” One fake would start out of his chair and then, bashfully, the real person would stand up to studio applause. There have been moments when I wanted to ask, “Would the real Mr. Arafat please stand up,” but they have been very fleeting.