“Kool retfa the posh” he’d call to Mum, “I’m going to ekat the yenom to the kaynab” Somewhere Dad had learnt Backslang and this was the preferred medium of communication between him and Mum when there were customers in the shop. What he had just said was, “Look after the shop, I’m taking the money to the bank”

59 sneak in some red Smuggle a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a corkscrew into a long matinee. Red wine is rich in life-extending antioxidants, and the caper will add zest even to a bad movie.

We tried to catch him, but he had already buggered off.

1996, Rachel C. Edwards, Hizzoner: A Day in the Life of a Village Mayor, Flats Publishing Company: