Old man can't get it up, can't afford the big V on the pension, toey as a roman sandal, sees a couple going for it on the front lawn, takes it as a personal insult in your face gramps then calls the LEO's in to break it up.

... If you could get my little pickle to learn his multiplication table before you leave us, you shall have that musical box to take home with you.

Brimful of Asha on the forty-five / Well, it's a brimful of Asha on the forty-five

Now she unweaves the web that she hath wrought.