Cousin to the conqueror [King Arthur], as he knows well, / Known by official record as knight of his chamber / And acknowledged the mightiest king of all the Round Table. / I [Gawain] am the douzepere and duke he dubbed with his hands / In due ceremony one day before all his dear lords.

Cleverly, he found ways of ingratiating himself with all the important guests.

But It all came about through ultradrastic measures taken by one Hekzebiah Hawkins, first mayor of Dogptach, a man who had more power than Boulder Dam.

‘Well, we come on this pisswater river, running high on account there'd been rains.’