As David Woolley has shown, Swift engineered an advertisement for the Tub, in the Morning Post, as an antisplenetic volume.

“In the event of congestion, the half percent of people who are overutilizing an excessive amount of capacity will be slowed down subtly until capacity is restored,” the chief technology officer for Comcast, Tony G. Werner, said.

Scoring the matchwinning goal in the county soccer derby made him the town's hero.

‘My first agent, and he's dead. It's incredible. I feel like a complete Jonah.’