Do we have to learn a new kind of language — ‘Netspeak’, as I shall call it — in order to be a netizen?

Every six months, spoonfuls of castor oil were administered to combat constipation.

The car in which I had taken Olivia to dinner and then out to the cemetery — a historic vehicle, even a monument of sorts, in the history of fellatio's advent onto the Winesburg campus in the second half of the twentieth century — went careening off to the side...

Thine's a tympany of sense.