I am Maureen because Uncle Louis liked the film star Maureen O'Hara. Fine. The fact that a small sallow baby born in Hull was unlikely to grow up into a flame-haired temptress with flashing green eyes and the cleavage the size of Galway was neither here or there. Maureen I became. Or Marine on the other side of the Atlantic. Also no-one in our house could foresee that since my father's name was Maurice I would be constantly called, with mounting frustration, 'Mauri-Morry-Maureen!'