It really brings home the amount of deprivation you lived through, and it's very common for grief to come up like this.

In the works of nature we find, in many instances, beauty and sublimity involved among circumstances, which are either indifferent, or which obstruct the general effect: and it is only by a train of experiments, that we can separate those circumstances from the rest... Accordingly, the inexperienced artist, when he copies nature, will copy her servilely... and the beauties of his performances will be encumbered with a number of superfluous or disagreeable concomitants. Experience and observation alone can enable him to make this determination: to exhibit the principles of beauty pure and unadulterated, and to form a creation of his own, more faultless, than ever fell under the observation of his senses.

Buildings or portions thereof shall be provided with a means of egress system as required this chapter. The provisions of this chapter shall control the design, construction and arrangement of means egress components required to provide an approved means of egress from structures and portions thereof.

I couldn't hide that I was a sicko and different from the norm. I couldn't handle a full course load. I had to scale back. I felt weak, worthless, and nothing cam easily anymore.