The one question is whether Paul Pogba was taken off just before half-time to rest him or because of a problem. The midfielder’s body language suggested it was the former and he appeared on the pitch after the final whistle.

My stomach was just sore and I was rubbing it. But he just reached and skelped me on the leg and I fell down and he waited for me to get up and he skelped me on the b*m.

Food preparation on a potager no doubt became a kitchen ballet in which pans were constantly shifted, coals constantly replenished, and grates shaken out.

Tundher-an-ouns, Sir, give it to us, or you'11 be afther stroking it into a wran at last, so you will.