But you don’t have to be a scientist to be a potamophile (someone who loves rivers). Anyone can exercise his potamophily (love of rivers) and his legs along the bank of his favorite river.

smoked salmon

As I spend 10 minutes debating what to order, a kid nearby entertains himself by squirting free edamame beans across the restaurant. I try the same, saying “Kobe!” as I shoot one in my mouth at arm’s length on the first try.

Don't you mean tomophobia? I mean, why use magic when there's a perfectly good scalpel at hand? :)