I find the description wonderfully familiar, less the droogish quality, than the loosey-goosey opportunism.

Compurgator.[…]2. A jurator who, together with the accused and eleven others, swore to his innocence.

The palsie plagues my pulses when I prigg yoͬ: piggs or pullen your culuers take, or matchles make your Chanticleare or sullen

33 Chestnut Cl, Anytown