This threat, the reader may well suppose, was not very tranquilizing to my feelings.

Cahill was beaten far too easily for Miller's goal, although the striker deserves the credit for the way he controlled Alan Hutton's right-wing delivery, with his back to goal, feigned to his left then went the other way and pinged a splendid left-foot shot into Hart's bottom right-hand corner.

This rush for finer barristerial plumage accompanies the rekindling monarchist sentiment under the Abbott government, which gives the cringeworthy impression that Australia is still a branch of little England, full of 10 pound poms and God Save the Queen.

Use a round file to deburr the pipe.