Your eyes have their own goo, too. You know that crud in the corners of your eyes when you first wake up? It's a type of rheum called gound. When you're awake, you blink away the gound.

Freedom has come to Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union has shriveled as a world power, the people of Nicaragua have given Danny Ortega the Order of the Boot, and all because of us and our brave revival of the Red Scare.

The news is a lot to take in right now.

All the evils of an untied tongue we put upon the accounts of drunkenness.