As sure as Heaven shall rescue me, / I have no thought what men they be; / Nor do I know how long it is / (For I have lain in fits, I wis) […]

He strung the angelot; / Made rhymes thereto; […]

Due to some epically drunk behavior at his sister's Prada fashion thing the weekend before last, he'd somehow cheated on his supremely hot, now ex-girlfriend, […]

For in the going up of Luhith continual weeping shall go up; for in the going down of Horonaim the enemies have heard a cry of destruction.