You think someone's been following you? That's just your imagination.

And these things he had achieved currente calamo, “wielding his pen,” as Scott said of Byron, “with the easy negligence of a nobleman.”

Despite a couple of rustications, he gained an exhibition to Cambridge.

The bolts have to be opened and closed in the right combination to avoid scenes worthy of a French farce. But I feel less a character in ‘Whoops! There go my trousers’, and more like something miserable by [Samuel] Beckett or [Franz] Kafka about the meaningless of life, and the fatuity of communication.