Fed by years of propaganda and a firm belief in the superiority of Southern civilization — and convinced that only a supermonstrous army could defeat their gallant sons and husbands — Southerners also tended to exaggerate the destructiveness of the Union forces.

“‘Is this a date?’” Ms. Ludbrook recalled thinking during dinner. “I had valeted my car, and he hadn’t. He said, ‘Bye,’ and went to his car. Clearly this was not a date.”

I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

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