In reality there are only around 24 MWs in Australia, so the chances of me coming across someone who's just attained theirs, and is applying for a hospo job, is rather low.

When you spot him finning just under the surface, you move up quietly and present … bait, usually a squid.

His version of 'Myfanwy' was given the thumbs-up by CBS and we looked set fair. Set fair, that is, until one of their promotion guys heard it.

I can imagine the man . . . prepared to oppress rival firms, overthrow inconvenient monarchs, and let loose the dogs of war.