I believe I can bring the high degree of focus required for this important job.

The largest and most interesting of these fragments (no. 1), with four partial lines of text on each side, is written not in Gāndhārī or even in Sanskritized Gāndhārī like that of the Schøyen fragments, but in more or less standard Sanskrit.

In layman's terms, your husband/boyfriend/donor spooges into a jar and then the contents of that jar are gooshed up your puss with a turkey baster. SCIENCE!

The poor little darling had so many mothers; she didn't know whether she was Arthur or Martha!