They did the whole design ass-backwards. No wonder it doesn't work.

1996 October 6, Timothy Litwiller (username), HOW TO MAKE A JAVA ALERT POP UP ON LOAD, in comp.lang.javascriptUsenet

These liberal revolutionaries, who have gone down in history as the Decembrists, called on the army not to swear allegiance to Nicholas. The Decembrist-led rebels were surrounded by troops loyal to Nicholas on the banks of the Neva River in St. Petersburg.

I'm a Lostie through and through. For those of you who may not know what that is, you probably never paid much attention to the award-winning television show Lost.