“Ha! ha!” he proudly cried, “a fig / For this, your mammoth torso! / Just watch me while I grow as big / As you—or even more so!”

His tufted cottage rising through the snow

A volcanic island covered with a carpet of tropical rainforest, Lanyu lies about 65km southeast of the city of Taitung, making it the southernmost outpost of Taiwan. Lanyu's status as a far-flung outpost isn't merely geographical, but cultural as well, as the island is by far the least Chinese part of Taiwan.

Crystal might have said that those perfect lips were zipped, but the kidnappers had no way of knowing that. Should he let sleeping dogs lie?