I think the old guy is full of crap and what he has done in the years wouldn't help any organization much.

In the Mayfield Days everybody smoked so they all smelled good, teeth as white and wild as urinal cakes, chattered and jukeboxed into the slurring sunset when the real drunks came in Fresh off some shift furnace soot still in their hair

To make like a deer caught in the headlights.

The closest thing to what the caller describes is a creature called the Batsquatch. Batsquatch is seen at Mount St. Helens. Some people theorize that when Mount St. Helens erupted it also opened up a dimensional portal, ...