Christmas comes but once a year, And then Mother wishes it wasn't here.

No, that's a different crazy Egyptian tycoon, and that's assuming he even is crazy, which is a pretty safe assumption because once Diana Spencer marries into your family all her new relatives are automatically crazy, especially if any of them produced the terrible Spielberg movie Hook in which Robin Williams takes forever to get to the fireworks factory.

Deserts are known for being arid.

His Russian was derived from a fortnight's crash course. You'd better see what this ah tovarish thinks he wants.