‘I always ask leave, in the interests of science, to measure the crania of those going out there,’ he said.

Signalman Bridges was killed by the blast, as was fireman Nightall. Amazingly, driver Gimbert came round some 200 yards away, on the grass outside the Station Hotel where he had been flung.

Shirley, a 42-year-old married homemaker, presented for evaluation of compulsive hairpulling.

His nefarious repercussion of obloquy must contaminate, and obumbrate, and who can tell but it may even aberuncate his feculent and excrementitious celebrity.