Frankly, this wood's so strong that sandpaper won't touch it.

The abram cove is a lusty strong rogue, who walketh with a slade about his quarroms trining to his hams, bandolierwise, for all the world as cutpurses and thieves wear their sheets to the gallows, in which their trulls are to bury them.

misname + -er → misnomer

We are all together in the same house, and all parties have agreed to the match, and in a fortnite the surrymony will be performed.