These [spiders] in my office were newborn babies. A hundred scuttering bambinos, each one no bigger than a poppyseed. Too small still for red hourglasses, too small even for red egg timers.

I met this woman the other day who's allergic to wheat. I didn't even know that was possible!

Afterward we proceeded down the tawdry Las vegas strip to the ultraexcessive Caesar's Palace Hotel, a sprawling place that seeks to the ancient Rome into twenty-eighth century.

Kissing is a game that should always be played in private. Those who must lallygag or perish should pull down the blinds.