This plumber's helper was in the corner, one of these big, industrial-strength jobs for blowing out major toilet blockage.

I can’t figure if he’s telling the truth or lying.

I like to let my tea cool before drinking it so I don't burn my tongue.

Plus Kanté is something new. Get this: Chelsea have the most popular player in the league, a man nobody could seriously boo, albeit even the notably lovable Kanté is perhaps a little fetishised in his humility, his scooter-riding, the Premier League’s own friendly, scuttling Bilbo Baggins.