How! They surely cannot pretend that the black is an Englishman? There are all kinds of Englishmen, black and white, when seamen grow scarce. […]

He was tempted to try the last door—to look into the room of evil fame; but he reflected that this would be indiscreet, since Colonel Capadose handled the brush—as a raconteur—with such freedom. There might be a ghost and there might not; but the Colonel himself, he inclined to think, was the most mystifying figure in the house.

Please hush-now this heart to dumben this breath. Please muffle the whimpers, the drippings of sweat.

In comments posted below this clip on YouTube, visitors report with delight that the tactic really does work and offer a few tips of their own: walk around the office carrying manila envelopes, advises one.