My washing machine has gone on the fritz, and I have a load of muddy clothes to clean.

She had wanted me to wear Speedos – an orange banana hammock – but I had put on camouflaged cutoffs and a tank top.

Acting as the numéraire is one of the functions of money: to measure the worth of different goods and services relative to one another. Numéraire goods are goods with a fixed price of 1 used to facilitate calculations when only the relative prices are relevant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numeraire

Thou foul abettor! thou notorious bawd! Thou plantest scandal and displacest laud: